A Sign of Midlife Crisis?

Feeling anxious about the rest of my life

I’m currently in my thirties, and I’m wondering if I should work for the same company or find another way in a few years.

The reason is that I will apply for an examination for promotion to a manager then, so I have to go with how to spend the rest of my life as a working professional; A Generalist who has management skills or A Specialist who has expertise.

Generalist

If I get promoted to a manager, the job description will mainly be the management of my subordinates and the budget. In fact, I am willing to support other colleagues for their growth, but it is very difficult for me. I have a difficulty giving right feedbacks to them. They sometimes misunderstand my words. Worse still, that leads to a disagreement. If I become a manager, the number of disagreements will increase. I don’t want to spend such stressful days. On the other hand, the position as a manager will strengthen my social trust as well as promise me a stable life. To cut it short, Patience vs Stability.

Specialist

In contrast, if I go with a specialist, I will be able to spare time to improve my expertise. What is more, exceptional skills will give me a chance to work free-lance. However, as long as I work for a company, I may be managed by a younger staff. Indeed, I’m not confident to get along with him or her as I’m proud… In addition, working free-lance is instable, so I won’t be able to select my job to sustain myself. Actually, I don’t have enthusiasm for willingly spending a poor life for big dream. At least, I want to spend your average life. In summary, Patience vs Dream.

Wise to wait and see

At this point, I want to go with the latter, but my current job doesn’t help me improve the skills. Lately, I came to feel that I’m wasting precious time during my late thirties…, but I don’t think it is the right time to leave our company. I have just started paying my loan and no one can project how business in Japan will go after Tokyo Olympics Games. It is wise to wait and see. I tell it to myself every day that “Don’t give up easily! Be patient for myself.”

What I can do is to keep on writing a blog and wait for the right timing to come. What one likes, one will do well.