Can’t Get Over “What Did You Eat Yesterday?” (きのう何食べた?)

Finished Watching “What Did You Eat Yesterday?”

I watched an episode before the last one and the final episode of “What did you eat yesterday?” in a row this weekend, and I’ll share what I thought.

The two episodes featured a visit to parents’ home with a gay partner. The parents of one half of the couple knew that their son was a gay, but they had never met his partner. After much consideration, the son finally decided to take his partner. The reason was that he wanted his parents to understand that he was getting along with his partner even though he was a gay. Also, he told his guess about how his parents had felt when they had known that their son was a gay. “How pitiable my son is.” he imagined first. Next, he continued “It might be our responsibility that our son became a gay.” To get rid of these misunderstandings, he finally decided to introduce his partner to show that he was happy as well as he was getting along with each other.

Do You Visit Your Parents’ Home With a Gay Partner?

The scene made me think about a lot of things, while watching the drama with my partner. For example, I considered if I should come out of the closet. Not only that, I should introduce my partner to my parents in the future. After considering well, I concluded that I didn’t think I should come out of the closet and introduce my partner because of 3 reasons: My Brother, The Necessity for Coming Out of the Closet and Discussion with a Partner.

My Brother is also a gay

First, it might be an exceptional case, but I disagreed because of the incident caused by my brother. In reality, my brother is also a gay. My mother happened to find a love letter from my brother to his male friend while she was cleaning his room. Just after that, she consulted with me with an about-to-cry expression. She told me that there was no one to share these feelings except for me. I wondered which words could calm her down, but nothing came out. She was so confused that she said she shouldn’t have given birth to my brother. The words hurt me very much as I am a gay. Meanwhile, I thought it was a natural respond for a person who faced the unexpected incident. As time goes by, my mother came to blame herself for the way she raised my brother. What I could do was just to tell my mother “I was not sure why my brother is a gay, but I don’t think it’s your fault.” And then, I found that she gradually came to accept the fact, but she didn’t do it positively and seemingly gave up. That’s why, I can’t make my parents experience the same thing. You don’t have the right to give others a lot of stress by confessing secrets.

Is It Necessary to Come Out of the Closet?

Second, I didn’t think telling a secret was necessary if my parents could feel relieved to know how I would spend the rest of my life. As I wrote in the previous post, I hated to go back to my parents’ home because my mother asked me about many things such as a steady, a marriage etc. These questions made me feel that how free I would become if I came out of the closet, but I found it impossible. So, I considered the reasons why my parents asked me such sensitive questions. I thought the reason was that they were just interested in how I would spend my life. In addition, they wouldn’t ask any more if I showed a clear vision that I would have been OK in a competitive society “even though I was a single.” Actually, my vague responses might have made my parents anxious. I’ll cut my way with the preparation that LGBT won’t been guaranteed the same rights as straight people in both the workplace and the society.

Discussion with a Gay Partner

Third, visiting my parents’ home with my partner was not realistic for us. As with me, my partner doesn’t tell his real sexual orientation to his parents. In the heartwarming scene that the couple decided to visit parents’ home and held their hands each other, there was a time difference for us to hold our hands each other. We make sure to hold our hands each other every time we watch a moving scene without conscious. The rare time difference must have been a hesitation that meeting each other’s parents was premature for us… I felt a little sad, but I realized that it was the reality I had to accept. I must be strong…!! Visiting parents’ home with a gay partner is ideal, but every gay couple cannot make it happen. It should be discussed and decided in a convincing way at their own pace.

Impression about “What Did You Eat Yesterday?”

I sadly finished watching every episode of “What did you eat yesterday?”. It was very impressive, and it gave a lot of courage to live as a gay. This was because I could see an ideal role model of a gay couple. So far, I wondered how gay would spend their life when they were in their forties and over. The couple in the drama was very ideal: One half of the couple was getting along with a housewife who lived near their house and sharing information about groceries on sale. Another revealed his sexuality in the workplace. And then, they finally met the parents of one half. We hope to become a couple like them in the future, we, however, realized none of them at the moment.

I would like to keep on writing English blog for the bright future of LGBT all over the world. What one likes, one will do well.